As I sit here and watch over Whitney sleeping I am reflecting on my own journey through life and how we handled decision points that got us here.
The decision to pick up our family and move to a new area was a very hard decision and one that many people may not have taken. The reality was, other than my time in the Army, I have never strayed very far from the comforts of my home town of Lawrence. I based the decision on a few factors. The first was personal opportunity to grow, the second was economic stability and security which leads to the final piece of what I call freedom.
I'll focus this entry on what I consider freedom and that might help you understand some of my thought processes here. I can't say the word freedom without singing Kris Kristofferson's words that Janis Joplin sang so well that "Freedoms' just another word for nothin' left to lose" although this doesn't make up my thoughts on this, there is some truth to the statement. I liken freedom to freewill, or to be free from the influence of others. In my mind, as long as I am in debt, I am not free. I owe my "personal industry" to another until I can buy my freedom back. It is a harsh thought process, but it is a foundation piece that many of my views and decisions are formulated from.
When I analyzed the financial impact of the move, I looked at the net equity that we had built in the farm against what we still owed on it. I realized that we should be able to sell the farm and buy a smaller house in one of the small towns in Riley County and eliminate a mortgage payment. By doing this, I could buy Lisa's freedom. If we made this move, Lisa wouldn't have to work anymore. How important was that decision now as we are faced with the long recovery process of Whitney's illness.